The "Stop" and "Go" city!

The "Stop" and "Go" city!

Open the pages of the supplement of any English local daily and you will come across city specials devoted to the booming city of Bhubaneswar. Do you believe these fairy tales? Many a new comer will be easily fooled into thinking that the city is truly rocking and is one of the best places to work and play!

The city does not rock, it sucks and is fast turning into an ugly and unregulated urban hell hole !

A visitor driving down from the airport will be pleasantly surprised to find the clean open roads inside the airport area, devoid of traffic or people. Only when he hits the Forest Park square and takes a right turn, he realizes that he hast just driven into yet another Indian city of chaos with disorderly parking, overflowing garbage heaps, encroached footpaths and bold bulls freely wandering on the streets!

Welcome to the city of bulls! Since, Lord Lingaraj is the presiding deity, these animals enjoy special privileges! Massive specimens stare at you nonchalantly at every crossing and main street. You will also find them leisurely sprawled on the arterial roads enjoying an afternoon nap with their over sized testicles proudly displayed to the hapless motorist.

The most hilarious are the traffic cops manning the crossings who use hand signals like kathak dancers! Since the traffic lights usually malfunction, they follow a quaint Mughal era signaling system. Two signal boards with “STOP” and “GO” are displayed alternatively. The problem is in the dark hours when you need a powerful flashlight to decipher the message !

The city’s magnificent skyline which was once dotted by the awe inspiring temples has totally disappeared, since it is completely taken over by ill planned apartment blocks, mobile phone towers and giant hoardings! Bikers and drivers crash into each other as their attention is grabbed by the titillating giant hoardings with blowups of appetizing female models which greet them at every city crossing.

The city has also degenerated into a slum city with every open space full of squatters and shops. In fact, the best way to settle in the city is to become a slum dweller. Politicians will woo you and will be happy to make you a voter and provide you with ration cards, water and electricity connections. NGOs also need slums since they raise money to improve their lot. They have been doing this since the last 3 decades. No slums...... no funds !

Thousands of roadside shops, cabins, vegetable vendors ,food carts block half of the roads and parking lots, leaving hardly any space for the traffic or pedestrians to walk. Don't be mistaken to think that this happens in some far away Jharpada or Sailashree Vihar.

You will find fruit stalls right next to the Queen’s house at Aerodrome Square. Bangladeshi refuges have set up garment shops which block off the police DIG and SP’s official residences. The empty spaces in front of the Secretariat and other government buildings have also turned into bustling markets for vegetables, gamchas, toys, tools, etc. Talk of high security at our state government offices ! Ha! Ha!

When the babus can’t even free their own residences and offices from the encroachment menace, how can we expect them to clean up the rest of the city?

The Paika and the tall Royal minister are always at loggerheads over the eviction issue. While the Royal issues orders to bulldoze the slums, the Paika sabotages these moves, since he is frightened of losing his captive vote bank! And the Queen smiles, enjoying the turf war in the bania party! And everyone knows he is too impotent to clean up the few rickety fruit and pan stalls in front of his own house, forget about the city!

The public transport system is non-existent, forcing people to use personal transport. This leads to a gargantuan parking problem. Deployment of say 200 town buses could solve this problem overnight. The auto rickshaw mafia is another menace which is throttling the city. Not a single auto uses the meter though everyone has one and the brazen transport officers are too busy collecting their monthly hafta.

The real estate mafia has strangulated the city. Illegal multi storeys have been put in every conceivable open plot of land. One 7 storeyed building which has shockingly come up next to the exquisitely carved Mukteswar temple has destroyed the unforgettable view for ever! We should hang our heads in shame! Why doesn’t the BDA raze this apartment block?

Gory carcasses of goat and sheep hang on the roadside in full public view since at least 500 mutton shops operate illegally. The BMC warnings do not bother them since the payoff is a measly 1 kg of mutton delivered to the concerned guy every Sunday!

The bear faced brief less lawyer turned BMC Mayor is too busy licking the Queen’s feet in his daily display of unabashed sycophancy . Where is the time to do his real work? However, must say that the ass is a fast learner since he parrots the Queen’s usual inanities by announcing that he and the BMC are looking into the problem which would be solved within a few days! Somebody should tape his mouth so that he stops bullshitting anymore!

Only the main roads leading from the airport to Infocity, Secretariat and Janpath are kept in good repair. This is done to ensure that the Mittals and Ambanis will at least arrive in one piece to sign their MOUs! The internal roads are a shame even in posh areas like Saheed Nagar which resemble the Iraqi war zone with gigantic potholes and wornout tarmac. Even all powerful Uncle is helpless to get the repair work done !

Yet, the babus claim that the capital is destined to become a Tier II city! My foot! The way things are going down the drain or rather choking (since the drains are blocked), the city fathers can forget their dream. Folks watch out, the once beautiful temple city with truly sylvan surroundings will soon be lost for ever, unless we wake up and kick the city babus into action!