No Page 3 crowd here !

No page 3 crowd here!

Finally Assembly is over! For the last two weeks, work at all govt. offices had come to a grinding halt with the single excuse that the Assembly is on. Transfers, promotions, work orders, payments, permits, clearances, notifications, etc. everything was on hold!

What ultimately happened after our dear MLAs deliberated, shouted and gesticulated over serious matters of state? Did anything change for the janta? Better roads, clean hospitals or good governance? Unfortunately, nothing changed!

The Queen sat through the entire proceedings with a bored pain-in-the-ass look on his puffed up face. Nowadays, he is able to decipher spoken Oriya and his party men do not have to strain to speak fifty fifty Oriya-English while haranguing. But he has yet to speak or read the local lingo.

It is an enigma which political pundits cannot explain ! I am at a total loss to come up with answers when my friends from other states ask me how he is so popular though he does not even know the language! I guess because he is not one of us !

An MLA was complaining to me bitterly the other day about the deplorable attitude of the imperious babus who are forced to troop to the House when matters related to their departments are discussed. He said that the way they sat with their hands sprawled all over chair and bodies leaned back, it appeared that even the presence of the CM did not evoke any gesture respect! He lamented that they never deigned to greet MLAs or treat them with courtesy.

I laughed at him and told him what a fool he was! Did he not know that our babus are incorrigible and have jumbo jet size egos? When the Queen can’t even go to the loo without their nod, how could he expect them to salaam the 5 year term holder netas?

Nowadays, the party TV channel ensures that a few MLAs do get their two minutes of fame by inviting them to their studio for discussions. These shows get hilarious when you have guaranteed dumb head netas being asked to expound on current political issues.

Green horn anchors expectedly get imbecilic answers when they ask equally stupid questions like: “Why do you think Naveen Pattnaik is popular?” Or, “Are you happy with the flood relief measures?” or gems like “Do you think the tribals are unhappy over Kalinga nagar?”

There is an ex commie fire brand MLA belonging to Napoleon’s political party who loves hurling thundering accusations targeting the Queen! I have seen the Queen’s forced smile wilt under this gentleman’s fiery assault. Similarly, the young Delhi educated MLA from the Congress who never loses an opportunity to fulminate on all sticky issues, is the Queen's bete noire.

It has struck me as quite strange the silence of the ruling party MLAs when the government is under siege. Rarely does anyone stand up in defense. The graprevine has it that they enjoy the rare sight of the Chief squirming under the Opposition's broadsides.

Not a single party MLA has an iota of respect for the Queen after seeing his dreaded Machiavellan moves in his short political career. Who knows if he shall give them the party ticket the next time? None can forget the ruthless political games played by him . The way he has kicked out senior party men, would even put Judas to shame!

We have the jatra owner MLA who excels in melodrama whose best career would have been playing the lead villain in his opera shows. He is undoubtedly a character whom Oriya mothers can invoke to lull their little babies to sleep. With his terrifying bloodshot eyes and unshaven face, he can be easily mistaken for an escaped convict from Jharpada jail! The dimwit just mutters a few dialogues from his jatras whenever asked to react on important issues!

The Queen never trusts him though he is supposed to be the party's goon leader to lead street fights during the elections. Though he is desperate to become a Minister for gathering the loot, the wily Chief is yet to agree.

The obese “Puri Sandha” is a disgrace to the House. With his unbuttoned kurta exposing his forested chest and with the thick smear of vermillion on his glistening forehead, he does look like a Hindu fanatic about to brandish his trishul and shout “Jai Shri Ram!” He has got into trouble many times in the past for forgetting his role as the moderator in the house and acting as a faithful barking dog of the ruling party.

He is also believed to have a hand in the Puri land scam. I am sure the Queen is waiting for the right time to sacrifice him in his inimitable style! How does the Queen who has high sartorial standards tolerate this buffoon? Methinks for a start he should ask him to button up his kurta! At least when the House is in session!

I know the Queen hates the hullabaloo and the theatrics in the House! Poor guy, does he have a choice? I am sure he misses the page 3 crowd at the scotch swigging Delhi 5-star parties where it is infra dig to shout. And where gliterrati talk never goes beyond the latest abstract by Hussain or the latest burning cause espoused by Arundhati Roy!

He hates the uncouth paan chewing netas . But with his remarkably obscene obsession for power, the party animal can forget the glitzy drag dos of Delhi and New York, if he wants to see fawning party men and the cheering crowds!