Dying to be a Orissa cop!

Dying to be a Orissa copy!

Oh, the bloody heat! It singes your face and saps your energy! When shall the heavens unfold? Nobody knows because our Met guys only say that the Monsoon has arrived after it arrives!

For the men in khaki, this is a killer summer! On top of the latest fake encounters in Gujarat , has come the latest revelations of the Bihari cop who has links with the Bihari mafia! Nothing surprising since in Bihar, they say that there are two kinds of criminals….the mafia and the uniformed mafia i.e., the cops!

This ugly Bihari policeman by now is as a familiar to us as the Big B since his heavily pock marked is flashed by OTV almost every day. Heard that terrified mothers are reluctant to allow infants to watch TV nowadays, lest they get nightmares!

With the major Oriya daily taking it up as a crusade, no wonder the lily white Queen had to blink and order an enquiry. The report is a fraud as the wily fox, our singularly incompetent DG has assiduously managed to keep the Queen happy. The trusted lackey filed a lukewarm report which just called for his suspension , nothing more , when it is known that the men who had requested him to fix up the appointment were planning a jail break! What about booking him for criminal conspiracy and attempt to help criminals ?

The Queen made a pious declaration that nobody will be spared if found guilty. The key line is “if found guilty”. I had a hearty laugh the same evening! The Queen at his eloquent best! Whom is he fooling? I knew nobody would be ever found guilty in Queensland. I am dead sure the Bihari must have taken care of the single pocket Babu at the Queen’s office since he is the guy who prepares the files for the moron’s final nod!

The same evening, the Queen must have with an enigmatic smile asked his trusted babu to look into the matter. Ofcourse, he meant with closed eyes! If the Queen really wants to screw someone, he could have gone hammer and tongs after him! Remember, how he let out his pack of hounds on the heels of the hotelier neta ?

The Bihari cop shot into limelight during the days of the real Kalinga Sandha i.e., Biju Babu when he saluted the old man everyday at his house. There are also stories that he had the old man in a honey trap! I am not sure of this, since I was not around during those days.

However, I do know that this Bihari daku in a cop’s dress with his meagre salary has managed to corner a dozen plots in the capital and runs a flourishing milk supply business. What an ideal cover to launder his booty! He even used to send his inspectors to threaten large hotels and restaurants to buy his watered milk. Given, his gwala qualifications, he should have been running OMFED instead of training policemen at his present job!

Whenever I think of our cops, I am regaled! Everyone knows what a bunch of jokers they are! Many are self proclaimed poets and dramatist whose eminent outpourings are forced down the throats of their subordinates. To please sahib, the thana babus are forced to confess that they have read their book and to sing paens to their non existent talent.

One senior cop with a bushy moustache used to head the film development corporation about a decade ago. He had a roaring time with the young wannabe starlets and actresses. Where in the world do you find a cop running a film corporation? Another top guy since retired was a Casanova and was a regular at the hep discos in town dancing away to glory with college chicks younger than his daughter!

While our police brass swill their scotch and twirl their moustaches before their wives and mistresses, the Reds steadily take over vast swathes of the state. And the Queen is too busy signing MOUs to read the writing on the wall!

Ah the stink of corruption which has now engulfed the Orissa police! Somehow the Queen’s pack of Vigilance hounds always overlook the corrupt cops, save the odd ASI or SI in some mofussil thana who dips his sticky fingers for a 500 rupee bribe! Have you ever seen them filing corruption cases against senior officials?

Prized thanas are being auctioned off and the highest bidder is posted there to rake in the moolah. For decades, inspectors continue to be rotated among different thanas in the same city or town. Why can’t they be shunted off to the districts after a three year stint in the cities?

And the luckiest are the non-Oriya cops who are posted as district chiefs in the industrial districts like Sambalpur, Sundargarh, Keonjhar, Angul, Jajpur ,etc. Somehow, the Queen’s clarion call to fight corruption has not reached them. Huge and unimaginable sums are pocketed by them to provide security to the fat cat banias who are now setting up industries and mines.

A bird told me that their average take is at least a couple of khokas a year! Some have even invested in hotels and commercial buildings in Delhi and Mumbai. To ensure a long life at their lucrative postings, they just have to please Uncle and the single pocket Babu at the Queen’s office.

If you guys have seen the glitzy palace built in Bhubaneswar by the media savvy Oriya cop who is posted in Mumbai you will realize how much a top cop can make if he is given a good post! And this guy poses as a moral crusader on TV and crows about his good deeds to clamp down on late night discos, errant filmstars, etc.!

Now talking of home country, the sweet faced cop at Bhubaneswar who is under the permanent protection of the Hon’ble Governor continues to cling to his post like a determined leech , notwithstanding the innumerable instances of security lapses during his tenure. Given his dismal performance, will anyone even give him a sepoy’s post ?

Recently, I heard a thana babu complaining that apples sent to his house as bheti were thrown out by dear Madam, as they were not imported! And everybody thinks he is an honest copy!

Dear Queen, will you wake up and clean up the cops of Orissa?