A Nobel for the Queen ?

A Nobel for the Queen ?

My deepest apologies to my readers! The Sandha was ill and therefore forced to rest in the front of Naveen Nivas displaying his crown jewels to the world while he watched the Queen’s predictable antics! The Sandha is back, raring to gore ! Watch out!

Much against his wishes, the Queen was forced to visit Kashipur to see what this bloody cholera thing was all about. After trying to wish it away, he could not defer it for long, lest the moribund Opposition leaders make an issue out of it.

And a new thing was the publicity banners put up by the local BJD unit advising the people not to drink stream water.Where will they get their water from? From the phantom tube wells which were never set up but religiously billed by the RD department?

I was furious to watch the Queen on TV with his silly grin trying make head and tail of what the suffering tribal was saying from his hospital bed at Kashipur PHC. When the nincompoop has yet to learn the language what can he do for the “development” of the state other than sell all our mines at harek maal rates!

The Queen has never made an effort to find what happens to the hundreds of crores of public funds which are routinely funnelled to the KBK districts. Actually, the idiot does not have to look far! Most of it comes back to the Rajdhani as fat wives of class II babus throng the glitzy gold and diamond showrooms to offload the take! And who are the buyers of the numerous apartment blocks springing up every other day? These babus of course in the names of their servants, third cousin, minor offspring, etc !

Let the govt. order an investigation into the source of funds for each flat buyer in Bhubaneswar who has bought a flat during the last five years and the trail will invariably end at Kashipur or Thuamul Rampur.

Even when the Centre doled out Rs.700 crores as NREGS funds, it made little difference since a recent report alleged that at least Rs.500 crores has been siphoned off. The poor never got their job cards, never got their work to which they were entitled to as per law. Even when they worked, they were unpaid for the last six months. What was the Queen doing all along? Having his black dog pegs and prawn kababs ofcourse and dreaming of selling our last mines!

Kashipur ! The place refuses to vanish from media space. First it was the tribal killings which took place due to the displacement by the aluminium plant. Then came the starvation deaths and the shocking images of tribals subsisting on mango kernels. The final straw you will agree is the cholera epidemic! What about the development the protesting tribals had been assured of when Utkal alumina started its work several years ago?

The contradiction was glaring and obscene! Rs.4,000 crores is being spent on setting up a giant aluminium plant but yet the people in the surrounding villages were dying like flies in some Mughal period Indian town hit by cholera.

Cholera! The word evokes alarm and fear. I asked a few of my doctor friends about this disease and they had a brief idea about this since it was a very rare disease! None of them had ever handled a cholera patient during their internship and no professor taught them the treatment regime.

Trust Orissa to be the place where such medieval age diseases strike with impunity! The MOU obsessed Queen does not want to hear from his minions about hunger, child sale or the complete collapse of health services. If any babu goes to him without an MOU paper trailed by a fat cat safari corporate honcho, he is promptly shooed away by the single pocket babu in the Queen’s office who tells the Queen where to sign.

The Queen with his pious declarations about his undying commitment to tribal welfare should now be awarded the Nobel prize for hypocrisy. With his fluttering eyelashes he never loses an opportunity to wax eloquent about his fake love for tribals while ordering his police to shoot them if they protest displacement!

After returning from his whirlwind visit, he promptly despatched his health minister to tour the area. The Health Minister whose head is placed firmly on the chopping block is a disinterested man and is hardly bothered with the epidemic. He awaits his marching orders and bids his time till d-day!

I cringed when I heard friends in Delhi mention about people dying like flies in Rayagada and Koraput district due to cholera epidemic! The urban crowd was impressed by the way the Queen was attracting investments from all over the world and thought that the state has now truly come of age! Nobody told them that the govt. is now run by banias and MNCs and hence it is least bothered about citizen welfare! For the babus, it is only MOUS, MOUS and MOUs they work on every working day!

The health service in the mofussil areas is in shambles. No doctor, no medicines , no diagnostic services. Purchases made under the massive DFID funded Orissa Health sector development project were a big scam with the fat buffoon who served as health minister three years ago. Purchases were made from black listed suppliers and critical machines like digital X-rays and Ultrasound machines which failed even the basic technical tests were bought since hefty commissions were paid by the suppliers. May this devil rot in hell and may some incurable disease strike him for selling the future of Orissa’s health!

The state had come out with a grand scheme to appoint contractual doctors. For the grand sum of Rs.12,000 a month for the KBK districts and Rs.10,000 for other districts ! Will you get even a pharmacist for this sum!


Now ofcourse, realizing their big mistake, they have announced revised scales at Rs.20,000 odd which I doubt will also be enough since most of the places do not have decent accommodation for housing doctors.Can’t the state build a couple of quarters for the doctor and the pharmacist, etc. at every PHC?

Desperately seeking Kamal

Desperately seeking Kamal

The Queen is nostalgic! After all those years spent in Orissa trying to lift the state from its grinding poverty (as he would like his jet set friends to believe) suddenly he remembered good old Delhi and his dear chum Kamal.

The Central Minister who was on a business call was shocked when he saw the Queen’s bored face! He was also pissed off by the fact that all his sincere talk about agro exports and how Orissa could benefit from being an organic state was pure Greek to the Queen who continued to glance at his watch wishing that the meeting come to an end. No less than three times, the Queen with misty eyes asked him “How is Kamal?” I cringe when I realize what he must be going through missing his dearest chum.

I am sure he must have remembered the games all Doon school boys played when the lights went out in the dorm! I can also bet my last rupee that Kamal must have been a really active playmate whom the Queen truly pines for! Hai Hai !

The Queen is now bored of all the politics and the shadow boxing and the rigmaroles he has play to retain his strangulating hold on the party. I truly pity him since he is missing his Scotch and kabab parties in Delhi! Now he hates everything about the state! The state’s paan chewing netas, the stinking slum ridden capital city, the stark poverty and the hot and humid climate has finally caught up with the Queen.

With governance at its all time low and law and order having nose dived and with the two penny babus in full and absolute grip, the Queen is suddenly wondering if he actually has a third chance. With NREGS a complete failure due to massive under spending and corruption, the poverty index just refuses to improve! I wonder if the Centre will stop all the anti poverty schemes in our state due to our supremely incompetent machinery.

If you guys remember, two days ago, the Reds closed down the NH-42 between Angul and Sambalpur and let loose complete mayhem. A truck was burnt down and they fired upon an adventurous group who wanted to break the bandh call. While the Queen with his florid face and kohl lined eyes continues with his endless reviews with that poet turned babu who runs the Home Deptt, the Reds are rapidly edging towards the capital itself!

The Delhi and Mumbai flights are now half empty as the mad rush of banias for MOUs has tapered off! Suddenly, every body is wondering about how many MOUs will finally see the light of the day! With the threat from the Reds, every bania operating in the tribal districts is now jittery! Displacement for industry is another major issue and no farmer is willing to believe that the state has the best rehabilitation policy in the country, however loud the babus may holler about this from the rooftops!

Ofcourse the lecherous alcoholic babu with a terrible public image who runs his office from the infamous watering hole of the city has taken upon himself the onerous task of assuring the biggies that their money is safe! How can a guy who is dead drunk by noon ever inspire any serious businessman? No wonder they flee the moment they are forced to deal with him!

The Koreans are fuming since the Queen and the single pocket babu in his office are refusing to take their calls. They are now forced to seek the Sardar’s munificence if they really want to see their project take off! The bald kabadiwalla's dream project for alumina remains mired in court cases and all the Queen's lackeys couldn't do anything to bail him out! His biggest land grab deal to snatch 10,000 acres in the Puri coast is also a pipe dream.

With such a sad state of affairs what else can the Queen do other than reminiscence abut his good old Delhi days! Oh how he misses those happy days when as a carefree bird he was totally free to dress up in his bright floral gowns, smear shiny red lipstick and put on those awfully loud earings and make his daily evening rounds?

Dying to be a Orissa cop!

Dying to be a Orissa copy!

Oh, the bloody heat! It singes your face and saps your energy! When shall the heavens unfold? Nobody knows because our Met guys only say that the Monsoon has arrived after it arrives!

For the men in khaki, this is a killer summer! On top of the latest fake encounters in Gujarat , has come the latest revelations of the Bihari cop who has links with the Bihari mafia! Nothing surprising since in Bihar, they say that there are two kinds of criminals….the mafia and the uniformed mafia i.e., the cops!

This ugly Bihari policeman by now is as a familiar to us as the Big B since his heavily pock marked is flashed by OTV almost every day. Heard that terrified mothers are reluctant to allow infants to watch TV nowadays, lest they get nightmares!

With the major Oriya daily taking it up as a crusade, no wonder the lily white Queen had to blink and order an enquiry. The report is a fraud as the wily fox, our singularly incompetent DG has assiduously managed to keep the Queen happy. The trusted lackey filed a lukewarm report which just called for his suspension , nothing more , when it is known that the men who had requested him to fix up the appointment were planning a jail break! What about booking him for criminal conspiracy and attempt to help criminals ?

The Queen made a pious declaration that nobody will be spared if found guilty. The key line is “if found guilty”. I had a hearty laugh the same evening! The Queen at his eloquent best! Whom is he fooling? I knew nobody would be ever found guilty in Queensland. I am dead sure the Bihari must have taken care of the single pocket Babu at the Queen’s office since he is the guy who prepares the files for the moron’s final nod!

The same evening, the Queen must have with an enigmatic smile asked his trusted babu to look into the matter. Ofcourse, he meant with closed eyes! If the Queen really wants to screw someone, he could have gone hammer and tongs after him! Remember, how he let out his pack of hounds on the heels of the hotelier neta ?

The Bihari cop shot into limelight during the days of the real Kalinga Sandha i.e., Biju Babu when he saluted the old man everyday at his house. There are also stories that he had the old man in a honey trap! I am not sure of this, since I was not around during those days.

However, I do know that this Bihari daku in a cop’s dress with his meagre salary has managed to corner a dozen plots in the capital and runs a flourishing milk supply business. What an ideal cover to launder his booty! He even used to send his inspectors to threaten large hotels and restaurants to buy his watered milk. Given, his gwala qualifications, he should have been running OMFED instead of training policemen at his present job!

Whenever I think of our cops, I am regaled! Everyone knows what a bunch of jokers they are! Many are self proclaimed poets and dramatist whose eminent outpourings are forced down the throats of their subordinates. To please sahib, the thana babus are forced to confess that they have read their book and to sing paens to their non existent talent.

One senior cop with a bushy moustache used to head the film development corporation about a decade ago. He had a roaring time with the young wannabe starlets and actresses. Where in the world do you find a cop running a film corporation? Another top guy since retired was a Casanova and was a regular at the hep discos in town dancing away to glory with college chicks younger than his daughter!

While our police brass swill their scotch and twirl their moustaches before their wives and mistresses, the Reds steadily take over vast swathes of the state. And the Queen is too busy signing MOUs to read the writing on the wall!

Ah the stink of corruption which has now engulfed the Orissa police! Somehow the Queen’s pack of Vigilance hounds always overlook the corrupt cops, save the odd ASI or SI in some mofussil thana who dips his sticky fingers for a 500 rupee bribe! Have you ever seen them filing corruption cases against senior officials?

Prized thanas are being auctioned off and the highest bidder is posted there to rake in the moolah. For decades, inspectors continue to be rotated among different thanas in the same city or town. Why can’t they be shunted off to the districts after a three year stint in the cities?

And the luckiest are the non-Oriya cops who are posted as district chiefs in the industrial districts like Sambalpur, Sundargarh, Keonjhar, Angul, Jajpur ,etc. Somehow, the Queen’s clarion call to fight corruption has not reached them. Huge and unimaginable sums are pocketed by them to provide security to the fat cat banias who are now setting up industries and mines.

A bird told me that their average take is at least a couple of khokas a year! Some have even invested in hotels and commercial buildings in Delhi and Mumbai. To ensure a long life at their lucrative postings, they just have to please Uncle and the single pocket Babu at the Queen’s office.

If you guys have seen the glitzy palace built in Bhubaneswar by the media savvy Oriya cop who is posted in Mumbai you will realize how much a top cop can make if he is given a good post! And this guy poses as a moral crusader on TV and crows about his good deeds to clamp down on late night discos, errant filmstars, etc.!

Now talking of home country, the sweet faced cop at Bhubaneswar who is under the permanent protection of the Hon’ble Governor continues to cling to his post like a determined leech , notwithstanding the innumerable instances of security lapses during his tenure. Given his dismal performance, will anyone even give him a sepoy’s post ?

Recently, I heard a thana babu complaining that apples sent to his house as bheti were thrown out by dear Madam, as they were not imported! And everybody thinks he is an honest copy!

Dear Queen, will you wake up and clean up the cops of Orissa?

The terrified Queen !

The terrified Queen !

The Koreans are fuming! After paying everyone in Delhi and Bhubaneswar, the much coveted land for the steel plant is yet to be in their lap! The Queen is also equally worried! He has to deliver the land, otherwise the Koreans are going to bay for his blood till he issues the refund cheque!

This month can be rightly called the Posco month. Oriyas in offices, paan shops and village squares hotly debated whether Naveen would order his police to march in on 15th April which was supposed to be the D- day. Whether the brave villagers of Dhenkia, Nuagaon ,etc would relent and give in? Babudom is equally apprehensive. No Posco means no foreign trips or jobs for their semi- literate children.

There was a strong build up of khaki clad police awaiting their orders to march in and take over the 4,000 acres odd of land which the stubborn villagers are resisting . Women , children and patriarchs in a rare show of complete unity and bravery have declared their opposition to the Posco plant.

The Queen who hates conflict fervently hoped for an “amicable settlement” in a peaceful manner whatever that means. The fraud has forgotten the hail of police bullets which mowed down 11 tribals in Kalinga nagar last year! He was terrified to adopt the "Kalinga nagar way" since the entire country’s media and human rights activists were breathing down his neck!

Amnesty International warned him of the consequences if the police assaulted children and women who guarded the bamboo barricades. The site turned into a pilgrimage as a steady stream of media persons and leaders trekked in. Readers were overwhelmed with a media blitzkrieg of Posco news every day !

It truly a war like situation with more than 2,000 armed policemen surrounding the 5,000 odd villagers who chose to cut themselves off from the outside world. Does the Queen think that this is some enemy territory which has to be acquired and the denizens thrown into the Bay of Bengal? Ofcourse, the single pocket babu in his office must have advised him to push in armed police since the Koreans were getting impatient.

Which democratic country in the world moves in heavily armed police to confront unarmed protestors who are protesting peacefully what they believed to be wrong? Everyone knows the Koreans have the Queen in their complete grip and he cannot even pee without their nod !

Will anyone of us leave willingly and peacefully if we are asked to shift from our homes? Why should we become puppets for some MNC which has come here to loot the state?

The grand old Congress chief seeing the public mood could not wait any longer. In a sudden turnaround, he announced that the party was opposed to forced takeover and displacement of people, notwithstanding the Sardar’s eager wish to see the project through. Ofcourse , this is classic Congress double speak.

Ultimately, the Queen had to politely suggest to the Korean chief who met him last week in the Secretariat that the company has to directly negotiate with the people who are losing their land and he cannot do much to help them. The chief was shocked to realize that the huge police mobilization and all the drama for the last few weeks was useless! Alas, only if the Koreans would have known this when they handed out the moolah to him two years ago!

The worst blow to Posco was the turnaround even by the people who had been carted in to speak in their favour at the public hearing on 15th April. Everybody opposed the port since they realized how much of damage it could cause to their fishing and farm lands.

I hope you guys know that the Posco deal is the biggest rip off in three centuries. In comparison the East India Company firangis were handkerchief thieves! The Koreans stand to make at least 100,000 crores alone from the sale of iron ore from their captive mines. They are being given 25% of the state’s high quality iron ore reserves. The Queen has happily sold off these mines for a song and his Swiss Bank accounts must be overflowing now with slush money !

Why should they even bother to set up the steel plant? All they have to do is to export the ore! Morever, the SEZ status would confer limitless benefits on them and ofcourse the state or centre would get nothing ! But do not think that the babus would get nothing ! They shall arm twist the Koreans to employ their offsprings and nephews !

May Lord Jagannath drive out these flat faced monkeys from our land and save the state from this disastrous deal!

The Babu Log

The Babu log

Apologies for the delay ! Was neck deep in work and hence no time for play!

Babus of Orissa! I am always amused to watch them at work and play! As a child I have seen them from real close quarters as many of my uncles were in govt. service. Babu watching is pure entertainment !

Here is a very modest attempt to put down my observations and I hope my dear readers shall enlighten me further!

The English Lord:

A very dominating and overbearing personality with a strong paternal attitude towards his subordinates and subjects. He is the one who can take no nonsense from netas and is unperturbed when they threaten him with transfer. Has an excellent sense of dressing and is usually dressed for the occasion which is quite rare I must say nowadays. Does not step out without his shoes polished to perfection. His suit is impeccably pressed and wears it with a matching tie. Would rather die than attend office in T-shirt and chappals !

He was the last survivor of the “koi hai” Brit civil servants who forged the steel frame of the rigid Indian bureaucracy! Usually loved to smoke and drink but in absolute moderation. I still remember the aroma from the Havana cigars they smoked ! Also was a true gentleman who opened doors for ladies and rose when a lady leaves or arrives!

Almost all of them are now retired and now live a life of quiet solitude forgotten by their erstwhile admirers. Usually, this class was clean and even frowned upon routine “bhetis” like a big fish or a bottle of scotch!

They were very good in work and knew the rules by heart. Generosity and munificence were their two distinct hallmarks. They never hesitated to stretch the rules if that meant benefiting a friend or even the poor or weak. I truly miss them!

The First generation types:

These were the babus who joined the service in the fifties and sixties . Since they had excellent masters, they tried to emulate them. They used to attend office on time. Disposed off the files on schedule; usually carried out the orders of their superiors and attended to public greviances with all sincerity. Work was serious business with them and rarely did they shirk it.

Never thought of swindling the state exchequer! At the most did not mind a big fish or a bottle of ghee as a small gift from his supplicants but in general was not a devil who harassed the public for a bribe!

During disasters, they never hesitated to wet their feet and work hard to ensure relief to victims. Official tours to the districts were strictly work…………files to be checked, public greviances to be heard, work to be inspected, etc. Not like nowadays, when it becomes an unending night long binge with plenty of booze and kababs!

What a sad contrast today! Most babus arrive at 11:00 and depart for a never ending lunch break at 1:30 p.m. to return after 4:00 p.m. While most get their favourite siesta , a few do not think twice before swilling down a couple of pegs at the preferred babu den of Bhubaneswar! The Club which claims to be “proud to be in Orissa,” whatever that means!

The new Sultan :

A poor struggling student bright in studies makes it to the coveted All India service and life changes for ever! Chucking the memories of grinding poverty and the hard working father who struggled to pay his hostel and tuition fees, the lad quickly becomes the new sultan. He is happy to be snared into a mismatched marriage with a tycoon’s daughter who is desperate for an IAS son in law to get his files cleared.

Wife sneers at him since his salary would not be enough to pay her beauty parlour and kitty party bills! Dear father in law does not hesitate to send monthly gift cheques in order to enable son in law and daughter to keep up with the Jones.

Humiliated by the shameful arrangements, dear son–in-law soon acquires a repressed inferiority complex and usually degenerates into a hopeless alcoholic. In some cases abuses and beats up his wife to show the fat cat father in law that he is still the boss and calls the shot.

Wife usually does not like the in-laws from the remote village to visit them! She hates the sight of the paan chewing pa-in-law wandering around the Type VII quarters in a crumpled dhoti.

Son also feels the pain since he does not want to be reminded of those sad days when he had to beg and borrow to buy his books. Soon the old couple get the shocking message that they are unwelcome and stop visiting them! These babus are the most disgusting turncoats . I wish we could banish them to Sibera!

The Climber:

The third type are the state officials who get the much coveted promotion towards the end of their illustrious careers! Commonly mocked at as "promotees" they are rarely revered by their minions and subjects !

After being used to a lifetime of making camp arrangements for their Class I bosses in the outbacks of Orissa and hearing orders being barked out, suddenly, they realize that they have to take the final decision. Not used to this, they continue to send the files up seeking orders from dear boss even when they do not need to.

Unusually unctuous, they never stop trying to impress their boss with their groveling and attend to his every whim and fancy! They ensure that Madam’s every little desire from special pickles, to fresh prawns and crabs from Chilika is pandered to! This ensures that they continue to cling to their lucrative posting so that they can continue to bleed the state!

They continue to be people friendly and usually maintain a very good relationship with the local populace. They also do not hesitate to dip into the till now and then since through sheer experience, know the various ways through which public money can be looted. Assiduously, they go on skimming off the cream bit by bit so that by retirement time have a good house in Bubaneswar and a fat bank balance to fall back upon.

The Single pocket Babu

This Babu exercises a vice like grip over the administrative machinery but does it with extreme cunning. He rarely makes a public appearance, hates to see his name in the papers and prefers to miss powerful social dos. Though the least visible of all babus, every babu dreads him since the files sent to the Queen's office are done by him. They dare not rub him the wrong way! Otherwise, they will promptly consigned to Malkangiri where the reds rule the roost!

He prefers to hide but be sure to find him at all govt. meetings where important decisions are made. Even here, rarely speaks out unless forced to but is the real decision maker since the Queen has 100 % trust in him. After all does the nitwit have any choice, with his pea brained head ! Even the newspaper interviews of the Queen are written up by him !

Slowly and steadily puts his men in place at all important positions to ensure that his bidding is carried out. Soon the banias find out this and make a beeline to fatten his pockets. This is the guy who shall call up the district collector to ease your land problems, the police chief to get you security, the mines guys for your lease, etc. Must say the arrangement perfectly suits the banias since is a one stop departmental service! What the Queen calls " single window" but methinks it should be single pocket! Ha Ha !

Right now, this guy is the hatchet man of the Queen and rules his office! Meet the " single pocket babu".

Some kajal and lipstick please!

Some kajal and lipstick please!

The Queen is now forced to do the thing he hates the most! Campaign for his party men who are fighting the panchayat and zilla parishad polls in the nook and corner of the state.

The lazy man has to get up and leave early for the tours to the boondocks of Orissa where fawning party men await him with hired crowds. Seeing the cheering crowds (Rs.50 + one free lunch is the going rate) lulls him into thinking about his massive popularity!

Given even a nano bit of a chance, he would opt for his sedate evenings at the capital when he can relax with his Black Dog and jumbo prawns and maybe a bite from the corned beef tin kept always at hand !

Just got to watch the Queen from real close quarters (almost at handshake distance!) at one of his election rallies. The cavalcade of vehicles preceded by the siren blaring police pilot vehicle swept into the meeting spot in a flurry of red dust. At least 15 private vehicles stuffed with dour faced partymen followed him.Yes, they were disgruntled because no sarkari babu or clerk ever listens to them! You see few could reap the benefits of their party being in power for 6 whole years !

Wonder who pays for all this ! The BJD party or the party men themselves? With the Queen’s clarion call to fight against corruption, the party must be real broke! Wonder how they print their banners and posters, lakhs of which are now found all over the countryside even in the remote hamlets!

In a spotless white kurta pyjama and with the fake smile on his puffed up face, the Party Prez was waving at the crowd. I was wondering what a great hit he would have been among his hand clapping sisters, if only he would smear some kajal and lipstick! A hundred hearts would have broken to smithereens! Hai! Hai!

The mikes blared out the BJD campaign spiel which he of course could not follow since it was in Oriya. How our most beloved CM is committed to the upliftment of tribals……….does it by shooting down the protesting tribals !

How he is working for development of western Orissa…………forget about state budget , central grants are left unspent for years together!

How he is dreaming to develop the state through industrialization……….so that banias can laugh their way to the bank with the loot from captive mines gifted at harek maal rates!

Alas, how long are we going to tolerate the Queen's chicanery with which he has been fooling us since the last 6 years! Any saviours listening ?

We may not be having world class roads !

We may not be having world class roads!

Many of you must be having near and dear ones living abroad. I do not know whether you love or hate your “phoren” cousins. But I have a very dim opinion of the tribe !

The moment they leave the motherland, they undergo a major metamorphosis quickly shedding their character and attitude to everything in life. The deep change is glaringly apparent when they return after a couple of years.

A cousin of mine had come visiting us the condemned “natives” who continued to cling to their roots in Orissa, (Mind you that is their feeling, not mine!) We went on a trip to Puri and Konark. My cousin who makes at least 10 times what I earn forgot his wallet! Bhabiji though did have her purse, only had large notes which she ofcourse could not use to pay sundry expenses.

I had to shell out money for everything……..from parking tickets, food bills to the temple bhog ! NROs love to hoard their hard earned dollars!

The Lord’s temple was apparently too dirty for Bhabiji! She wrinkled her nose and went on complaining about the wet stones on which she had to walk with her bare feet. I dropped a bombshell to amuse myself! I revealed that even leftovers of meals people have at Anand Bazar are considered as holy prasad and is gladly eaten. She protested with wide open eyes: “How unhygienic!”

And the best part is that the lady who did her graduation at Bhubaneswar had left India the previous year only after getting married. See the change!

The biggest shock to the erstwhile importance of NROs is the total lack of requests by country cousins to bring them goodies. Nobody pleads with them nowaday to bring a much coveted pair of Raybans or Nike or the prized bottle of Scotch!

With liberalization hitting India, almost all phoren goods are now available here starting from zippy cars to Nina Ricci perfumes. In the distant past, when they did take the trouble of getting a Rayban or a Canon camera, they handed it out as if they had brought a piece of the moon!

I sometimes, wonder how can these guys for the sake of a career forsake their aged parents to rush off to the big Apple. As health care costs are prohibitive abroad, the ageing parents are usually left behind. The parents stare at blank walls and school memorabilia of dear son in the vast empty house pining for their dear progeny. Dear son, whom the doting parents educated at the best college is busy fattening his bank balance!

In fact, I pity the miserable lives the NROs live abroad! Behind the glitter of swanky cars and plush apartments is a life of toil and hardship and zero social life.

They will never tell you that the dollars they earn fetch much less than the rupees they would have spent in India. A cup of coffee costs 3 dollars or almost Rs.135 ! They can’t even dream of engaging a maid, or get a driver. A gardener in London will charge you 10 pounds (Rs.850) for an hour’s work. They have to wash their own clothes and iron them since laundries are prohibitively expensive and it is cheaper to buy a new shirt.

Even they have to learn hair cutting, since a visit to a barber shop in even a suburb in any US town will put you back by at least $ 30 or say Rs. 1200! And everybody expects a tip abroad! From the taxi driver to the barber to the hotel attendant!

NROs invariably look for a homely and docile Oriya bride for their lads since a gori bahu will never make coffee for the parents or be a home maker!

And the latest fad among some techie NROs is running websites where grandiose ideas are discussed by neo and semi literates who have the slightest idea about the state’s problems or issues. Many of them issue naïve appeals to the idiotic Chief Minister urging him to do something or the other. I have seen some of these websites and cannot but be amazed at the total lack of depth about our problems. I guess they indulge in this to satiate their innate desire to do something for the state without ofcourse signing any cheques or volunteering time here!

They never realize that unlike Chandrababu Naidu, the Queen does not know how to open his e-mails! And the minions who do so promptly trash them since they are not MOU related!

True we may not be having world class roads or airports. Again true that our officers are lazy and corrupt and the system fails to deliver unless you pull strings. However, we lead tension free lives without having to deliver according to deadlines. We have families and friends to fall back upon in times of crisis. Meet with an accident and ten friends will come rushing and do everything from getting you admitted to the hospital, donating blood and buying medicines. Unthinkable in New York or London !

We have cheap food, clothes and medicines without which life is impossible to live. We can definitely afford to keep drivers, maids or gardeners and not go broke!

So dear friends, I am in serious love with Orissa and am sooooooo happy to stay here!