POTSHOTS - NOVEMBER,2006

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This is unfair.Why are you all fulltime into Navee... This is unfair.Why are you all fulltime into Naveen-bashing?He is the best thing that has happened to the state in recent decades. And since I help him in all matters, I am good for the state also.Please learn to acknowledge all that is positive. Stop being negative.

Pyari Uncle 30.10.2006


POTSHOTS is a great idea.But K.Sandha please ensur... POTSHOTS is a great idea.But K.Sandha please ensure it doesn't get dirty. Kill someone with your words if you want to but chivalry should not be a casualty.Love You Sandha even though I am not a Gaai.

Anonymous 29.10.2006


POTSHOT

One Anon had wanted to know about the CMO's Big Boss Bijay Patnaik's trip to Rome ! Any idea why the gentleman is there ? A special treaty between Orissa and the Italian Govt ? To collect the (non-existent) royalty payable to Naveen Patnaik, the author (?) Any idea ???

Anonymous 30.10.2006


Hey KS ! I thought Potshots were already there on ... Hey KS ! I thought Potshots were already there on the main postings ? Trying to get others to write and lie back and enjoy heh ? Come on KS you dont have to resort to Potshots if you dont have the time. We can wait for one posting in a week. Surely you can find out time for us all ??

Oriya Toka 31.10.2006


Dear Kalinga Sandha

Where are you hibernating ?Don't you think Talsara poll result is just the beginning of the end for the BJD-BJP alliance ?It's a clear verdict against the present government's anti-poor and anti-tribal policies by a tribal dominated constituency.

Clearly, the defeat is a direct fall-out of the Kalinga Nagar firing and theattitude towards the adivasis who are treated as part of wildlife who need to be culled to fuel the industrial dream of kickback-lovingQueen and his brother in Delhi.

Anonymous 3.11.2006

May I humbly announce the sad demise of the Sandha?

The Sandha died young, after running out of both time and steam. His initial flurry of writings flattered, only to deceive. The expectations that were raised were quickly dashed as the quality plummeted and the frequency diminished.

Sandha would be remembered as a creature who promised much but delivered little. He attempted to gore others, but got mortally wounded himself. May his soul rest in peace. And his carcass rot without letting out stench.

Ahem.

Requiem 7.11.2006


No sign of life from Kalinga Sandha.Has he been wounded.. No sign of life from Kalinga Sandha.Has he been wounded/injured/hurt ?

Concerned Citizen 11/06/2006

SANDHA IS THE QUEEN AND QUEEN IS THE SANDHA. ANY C... SANDHA IS THE QUEEN AND QUEEN IS THE SANDHA. ANY COMENTS ???

Anonymous 8.11.2006

Government servants taking up jobs soon after reti... Government servants taking up jobs soon after retirement or resignation is an interesting phenomenon. One is not sure about the loyalties of such people in the months and years before such retirement or resignation. Were they working for Government or were they doing things at the bidding of their prospective masters?

Following are some names, by no means exhaustive:

1.U Saratchandran,formerly of IAS, now with IMF

2. CBSK Rao, formerly of the IAS, now with Deepak Fertilizers

3. P C Mishra formerly of IPS and now with Posco India Private Limited

4. Rudra Narayan Pani, formerly of IAS, now with Bhushan Steel

5. Swapneshvar Baya, formerly Secretary, Higher Education, now with Vedanta University

Now the question is: Who says there is unemployment problem in Orissa?

Observer 8.11.2006

Mr MoU, Leader of VJDMr Clean has quietly transformed himself into Mr MoU.

For some reason the gentleman believes Orissa is not a state but an estate that he has inherited from his father.What else can explain his madness ?First he became a Frankenstein for his own party and now he is about to gobble up the whole state !!!The latest information is that the gentleman has been held to ransom by that disgusting character calledAnil Agarwal of Vedanta.

Angry over the delay in all his projects, Agarwal has threatened to go public about the Rs 200 crore he has given to the gentleman during the last few general and by-elections. That is why the state government is burning midnight oil to ensure that the Amusement Parkcalled Vedanta University takes some shape.

I sympathise, for a change, with Agarwal. After all he has been telling the whole world that the Orissa government is in his pocket. It will not be long before BJD is renamed VJD i.e. Vedanta Janata Dal.

Anonymous 12.11.2006



Any idea how we poor Oriyas can get rid of MoU Patnaik ?

Can't blame the intrinsically passive race called Oriyas but how long can we tolerate someone who's not an Oriya or stakeholder to rule our destiny ?If JBs are bad throw them to the dustbin of history. But why lickthe feet of Naveens who are out to put the entire state to auction ?Dump him...and soon.

Let's look forsomeone who's rooted to the soil and cares for the people.

Anonymous 16.11.2006


Dearest KS,

Dare not try getting lazy?

Why have you ceased writing. Its terrible to see you like this. Prople who take the lisure to find fault should at least try to play safe.

It not that my likeness for you has decreased but just thought to provoke you to resume writing and freshen up your blogs for little writers like me.

Anonymous 16.11.2006

It has been reported that lecturers are expressing their protest on the streets of Bhubaneswar by mimicking cobblers and shoe polish persons. Some women lecturers are even reported to be posing as beggars for the photographs, for publication in the mainstream newspapers.

Now, can a cobbler or a shoe polish person not have a decent dignified livelihood? If this is the so-called protest for one day, how much pain and suffering should it be for persons who are condemned to have that lifestyle not for just one generation, but over successive generations?And interestingly, why should only women lecturers do the begging act? What about the men?

Do they think a beggar likes to do that humiliating act ? There may a few exceptions, but by and large begging is not a profession, which one would adopt unless a person finds no other alternative.

Why can't these lecturers find other alternatives?How many of these lecturers do not offer private tuitions at their homes or other places?


Observer 17.11.2006

The Sandha is hibernating. Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ! Allow me a few days of rest my dear friends ! I shall be back ! Meanwhile, plz do on posting!

Hats off to the observation by Observer! What a beautiful insight! Every profession or livelihood (so far not illegal) is noble and should be respected. Has anyone ever tried milking a cow? I can assure you it requires great practice and skill. You might also get a kick from her rear legs !
And yet we do not consider a milkman worthy of our respect!

Have you tried to polish a shoe? I love the way , a cobbler can do it in a jiffy. With a few expert wipes, the shoe sparkles !

I also have sympathy for the teachers who I feel are paid miserably and never taken seriously by the Queen. No nation can progress if we do not respect and reverence for our gurus! That is the wisdom of the sages handed down over the centuries.

I am aware of the immense importance , a teacher or a college professor is accorded in the western societies. Many of them also work as key advisors to govt. and are involved in policy formulation and conflict resolution.

Would any of our babus ever dream of inviting say a professor of sociology to advise the govt. as to how to lift the BPL class from the depths of poverty ?

Kalinga Sandha 17.11.2006

Sandha Bhai, Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai ?

Braj Bhai has been kicked out of Samaj but only after a kickback of Rs 50 lakh was negotiated between Manu Bhai the Patel and Pyari the Tout.

Ab Samaj ka kya hoga ?

Can the Dand ever Nirodh the invasion of Naveena charm ? Can Madam Manorama ever re-establish her poetic panorama ?

Chat-tey chalo Chat-tey chalo.

Anonymous 18.11.2006

Hi Kalinga Sandha!

Do you notice how Poppu the Puppe... Hi Kalinga SandhaDo you notice how Poppu the Puppet has now managed to force ETV Oriya News and The Samaj to act as his PR agencies ? Good work Pyare Mohan Uncle.

Anonymous 22/11/2006


Hey KAY ESS.

Have you read what a Times of India report from Jaipur says ?"

At present India has about 3,700 tigers. Kanha with 163 is on the top followed by Dudhwa 154, Corbett 152, Sunderbans 150, Pench (MP) 144, Palamau 141 and Simlipal (Orissa) 140.YES SIR 14O ( One Hundred Forty).

PLEASE SEE THE LINK:(http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS/India/10_cubs_in_6_months_at_Ranthambore/articleshow/)

Even the State Wildlife deptt officials will suffer from cardiac failure when they see this number ! For all these days they have been desperately trying to spread rumours that there are between 90 and 100 tigers in Simlipal but unfortunately there have been no takers.

Do you think the Jaipur TOI guy was high on marijuana when he wrote this .Or, do you think he was counting the hair on his arm-pit ?

(Anonymous) 25.11.2006

Give them Leo toys only!

Give them Leo toys only !

The Queen was yet to recover from his Diwali booze bash when shocking news spoiled his fun! A senior cop has been shot dead by naxals.

The only thing which he hates more than a thick mustachioed youth is violence. Show him a violent movie full of blood and gore and he will wilt!

The entire country watched in shocked disbelief as the truth broke out late last evening. The officer had been shot by his own men! It was a stupid mistake. The human error which proved fatal!

However, the naxals did have the last laugh since they need not risk taking pot shots at the cops. What they could only dream off, was achieved by a bumbling PSO who obviously had never handled any firearm other than a Leo toy!

Shockingly incredulous news! A good upcoming officer who was known for his daredevilry was felled by his stupid bodyguard !

I am also equally appalled by the extremely poor information system which the government operates! Without ascertaining the exact cause of death, the Queen promptly went high gear in shooting off his usual missive to the Union Minister seeking two more CRPF battalions. He also announced a new battalion of ex servicemen to fight the red menace. The Govt. of India guys must be amazed ! Henceforth, the Queen's letters will be consigned to the trash bin.

Everybody knows our dear Orissa police! Sometimes, I seriously wonder why they chose to join the force! Many are accomplished poets and dramatists. Some of them are talented actors as well and excel on stage. In short, they are good at everything except police work! Sorry I forgot, they are also good at Republic Day parades where they turn up in carefully pressed uniforms with all their glittering medals and colour!

And the Home Deptt. babu is unique. He is a noted writer with a perpetually lost look! I think he lives in some nether world and is rarely able to make contact with mere mortals.

And the Home Minister ? The Queen himself who would scream out his lungs, if he saw a rat in his bedroom! Is it any wonder that the naxals are surely and steadily gaining ground while the Queen mulls strategy and sips endless cups of tepid coffee to find a way out?

Many of the PSOs are now armed with automatic rifles and carbines. I am sure none of the senior cops will now dare to sit beside one or in front of one. Now they have to first protect themselves from the accidental discharge of the escort’s weapon rather than look out for ambushes! Toys could be a valid option since none would ever believe that the guns carried by cops could be fakes!

I am sure the Queen will also now issue orders only to allow lathi wielding cops near him for his personal security cover. Must be terrified of the “gunman” which is the ultimate status symbol of many a North India VIP!

The red corridor has become a hard reality as everyone knows! Vast stretches of our state including more than 12 districts out of the 30 are firmly under their control. Ask the
contractors who work there. They pay a monthly hafta to ensure that their machines are not burnt down or their men kidnapped. Every week there is an incident somewhere in the state where the naxals kidnap someone or attack someone or blow up some building. And yet the government would have us believe that the leftists are on the run !

The root issue which continues to foster naxalism in the tribal districts is yet to be stamped out. Rampant corruption and siphoning of government funds prevents the state’s helping hand from reaching the intended beneficiaries. It is horrifyng to see the abominable living condition of our millions of staving tribals who dream of a single meal a day!

Yet, the Queen never fails to repeat ad nauseam that he loves tribals . Why doesn't he forego his fried fish with tartar sauce for a day to find out what hunger means !

Not a single top babu tours the districts , dreading the rifle shot! The power now stops at the borders of Bhubaneswar city and I doubt if the hands of the law extends beyond the district headquarters in most tribal districts. I used to enjoy the long drives through the 32 KV line from Berhampur to Koraput. Now I have to forget such sojourns. The entire road is now fraught with danger since one never knows if a bridge will be blown up or one’s car will be stopped by armed Reds.

Oh Lord Jagannath, when shall thy deliver us?

Labradors at the Queen's house

Labradors at the Queen’s house

The Queen is smiling once again! Fawning ministers and bootlicking party men gathered outside his house to greet him on his 60th birthday. Soon, the birthday boy emerged from the cool confines to the waiting posse of TV hacks for the mandatory pose. He (she) has turned 60 and the hordes of admirers and netas had turned up dutifully to wish him !

However, the smile was strangulated! Not a genuinely happy smile fit for a birthday celebration. The jarring note was the face off with the feisty Medha Patkar the day before when she wanted to barge in with a brigade of anti Posco villagers.

What a different smile he throws up when he sees a handsome nattily dressed youth. He took elaborate pains to smooth down his kurta which hung loose over his rotund belly. The effect of the Scotch and jumbo prawns evenings are difficult to hide after 6 years of power !

The Paika Minister stood like a faithful Labrador waiting to greet his master. He had a huge bouquet of flowers to present him. The Mafiosi leader from Jajpur Road who now heads the finance ministry and whose fate after Kalinga nagar is still hanging in balance was hesitantly standing unsure whether he could shake hands or just do namaskar and hand over the bouquet and disappear before the Queen guillotines him !

Many ministers and party men were afraid to even go near, lest the Queen take offence! However, the tall youth leader from Nayagarh stood just behind the Queen to make sure that his smiling mug appeared in all TV visuals! This would ensure that favour seekers would fall at his feet and he would make his own little bit on the side!

Most ministers are never invited to lunch with the Queen. The few that are politely decline since they are aware about his love for hamburgers and corned beef. Since many of our ministers are devout god fearing mortals, eating even from the plate which is used for serving beef is sheer sacrilege !

And many of them do not relish sandwiches, fish cutlets or tossed salads for lunch. A proper lunch means a full plate of rice and curry. Without this they would faint!

The Medha incident was truly avoidable. However, when you have such useless and incompetent cops, what else you can expect?

The Orissa cops were egregious in their intelligence failure. How could they fail to cordon off the area when they found that the anti Posco guys were marching towards the gates of the Queen’s house? They had a full hour’s time! They cannot claim that there was no time to respond to the situation!

Some heads would have rolled the same evening in any other state. But ofcourse nothing happens here. Everybody hums and haws and it is back to business once again. I guess they think Lord Jagannath willed that this should happen !

But the Queen is definitely scratching his head for a solution to the Posco problem which just refuses to die down. With govt. officers and netas unable to enter the sealed off area, everybody is now wondering whether the plant will ever come up. I hope everyone remembers the warning issued by the Posco chief last week that if land is not handed over within a month, they will be forced to close shop.

The Koreans are plain idiots not to read the writing on the wall. With such a popular mass movement how can they ever think that the government will be able to hand over the land even in one year, forget the one month deadline! Their strenuous efforts to build a “bridge of friendship” by flying down teams of doctors to do cleft lip surgery and the liberal donations to local temples and youth clubs has truly gone down the Mahanadi waters.

No amount of bribes and allurements to the leaders could make a difference.After all, everyone in Jagatsinghpur district is a neta. How many can you buy off? The Koreans tried this but realized that it was a pure waste of rupees. And the beautiful Soo, their PR lady whom I truly miss, has also flown the coop. Who will sweet talk the hacks now?

Uncle could do little to defuse the Posco imbroglio. The Queen is worried that if the Posco deal plonks, the corporates would be wary of trusting the state government about its apocryphal promises to hand over land and the precious mines !

And woe betide if that happens! The first instalments of the booty the banias and firangis queued up to deliver, have to be refunded.

Can you show me one person in this wonderful earth who would gladly return easy loot ?

Give up the negative mindset!

Give up the negative mindset !

The city is full of retired babus and academics who while away their time by playing with their playful grandchildren or indulging in idle gossip. But a few ambitious retirees refuse to be condemned to the four walls of their vacant houses.

The sudden loss of esteem and importance leads to an obsessive urge to be in some post or appointment to compensate their lost identity. They cuddle up to the powers that be for a coveted membership of some inane government committee or board. The lust for such positions ends up in these people becoming lumps of clay ready to be shaped into any shape as the establishment desires!

Welcome to the world of the bootlickers! A tribe whose numbers are rapidly growing in modern day Orissa.

One such prominent person is the “turtle lady” who retired as the Vice Chancellor of the Sambalpur University. This hag who should be actually spending her time at Puri eating “habisha” during the holy month of Kartik and doing puja for at least 12 hours of the day, has turned into the most loyal poodle of the state wildlife department. She has readily jumped into the ring to shield the incompetent wildlife department from the battering they have received during the wildlife week celebrations in the hands of a tenacious media which rightly exposed the complete lack of wildlife protection in Orissa.

This lady claims that Orissa is famous in the world for two things ………… Odissi dance and Olive Ridley turtles. And yes, if you have guessed it rightly, she coincidentally happens to be the undisputed expert in both!

Riding on the lap of the real Kalinga Sandha, she managed a effusive recommendation from the state government which fetched her the Padmashree award for her great contribution to Odissi dance. She managed to get herself nominated to all and sundry committees of the state government including the state wildlife advisory board .

Never mind that she must not have traveled more than half a dozen times to the field during her entire research career.

Senior media friends might recollect how she always used to call a press conference at the drop of a hat at Vani Vihar when she was the professor of zoology to announce her apocryphal research findings. Stealing the research done by her hard working students, she published papers lauding her achievements in growing limbs on frog tadpoles.

She also claimed in 1990s that heat determined the sex of turtle hatchlings. She carefully concealed the fact that many scientists have reported at least three decades before that heat truly determined the sex of any reptile hatchling including that of crocodiles and snakes, apart from turtles.

The 52nd Wildlife Week state level function was presided by a bored Queen with his pompous Forest Secretary in attendance. The Queen who loves corned beef and has stacks of the stuff in his house was invited to water a Tulsi plant on stage. What a major sacrilege! Where is the VHP! I hope some Hindu washes the Tulsi plant with "Ganga jal" to purify it.

In her speech,this faithful official stooge wondered aloud as to why the media focused on only negative things in the state. As if anything positive ever happens in Queensland! She also offered some sage advice. The media and the public should free themselves from the “negative mindset” and look around to appreciate the wonderful things which the Queen is achieving in all fields .

She was particularly irked with the media attention the dying turtles receive every year. The most classic statement was “So what if 10,000 to 15,000 turtles die every year? We should not be worried. We have 7-8 lakhs of them.” Somebody should remind her that the death of a sea turtle is the same as the death of a tiger since both are on the Schedule I to the Wildlife Protection Act. Was her statement a passport to the Rajya Sabha ?

This must have sounded like the mellifluous notes of Vivaldi's Four Seasons to the Queen's ears who has faced media flak for his failure to check turtle deaths on the Orissa coast. A few months ago, the Queen’s posh Aurangzeb Road house in Delhi was besieged by Greenpeace volunteers who dumped rotting turtle carcasses before his house.

A bird told me that she also carried a copy of the “Down To Earth” to show it to the Queen at the function. She had authored an article about the status of the gharial crocodile. Ofcourse , due to her utter ignorance, she had wrongly mentioned that the zoological name for gharial as “gharial gangeticus” . Anyway, the major faux pas could hardly be noticed by the semi literate Queen who politely nodded his head in appreciation as Madam went on expounding!

This hag has truly proved to be the biggest enemy of the turtles of Orissa. She was flown by the Indian government to depose before the WTO appeal tribunal at Zurich when the US imposed a ban on import of Indian shrimps due to non-use of the Turtle Excluder Device (TED) in fishing trawlers .She gleefully testified as a turtle expert that there were no turtle deaths in India caused by fishing trawlers.

Whenever, I see the lifeless putrefying carcasses of sea turtles on Puri beach, I remember this traitor!

May her soul rot in hell!

The Queen's puja gift!

The Queen's Puja gift!

Finally the long wait is over! The names of Chairmen of various PSUs and co operative banks were announced last week by the CM’s office.

It had 27 names in the BJD list and 12 names in the BJP list who were posted as Chairmen of various corporations and co operatives. One of the men in the 27 members was the secretary of a department who had been given charge. Since when have government officers become active members of political parties?

As the news broke over the evening bulletins, the appointees were jubilant. Since it came through on the eve of the pujas, it was truly a puja gift to the party men, never mind that 2 ½ years of the regime was already over! The enigmatic Queen was playing the waiting game to ensure that his flock and that of the Bania party stick with him. Delaying the appointments was the brilliant brainwave of Pyari our own Machiavelli! But the duo had no choice, since Panchayat elections were knocking and with disgruntled party men the party had little chance at the hustings !

Party workers and supporters started calling in to offer their profuse congratulations. Surprisingly, the new appointees were hesitant to respond to their warm greetings, since in their heart of hearts they knew how powerless they were in the babu driven Naveen administration! They could not even appoint a temporary peon or even place a purchase order of 100 bucks without the nod of the corporation’s MD . Further, if they badly wanted to consult their MD on some pressing matter, they have to take the pain of getting up and walking across to his room since he will willfully ignore their request to come over.

Most of the PSUs and co operatives are bankrupt and I doubt if they have the money to even pay for the petrol of the Chairman’s car. I guess some of the illustrious Chairmen will have to come to office in their own vehicles. Whew what a change ! That is true Gandhigiri! Lage raho bhayas!

In a singular display of ineptness, a transfer order issued on the same day which preceded the chairman appointments order had posted a babu as the chairman and managing director of the Civil Supplies Corporation. A BJP neta was also appointed as the chairman as per the evening’s announcement. Two persons being appointed by a government order for the same post on the same day ? Ha Ha!

This is the way the Queen’s babus work, my dear folks. Zero competence and nil accountability!

All the while the Congresswallahs are laughing away to their heart’s glory as they mock the BJD-BJP appointees. What a far cry from the halcyon days of the eighties when most of the corporations and co operatives were flourishing . Being newly set up with massive infusion of public funds, the chairmen usually had a plush office with an array of personal staff including a couple of cooks and maalis for the house as well.

The first thing on the new Chairman’s agenda when he joined was to renovate his office and his house with vast doses of public funds. Though there was no salary, fake TA bills and reimbursement of expenses compensated them adequately. He also ripped of his cut from each and every purchase which again was in crores in those days .

In those golden days of yore, the Chairman’s word was gospel truth and no MD however righteous and honest could dare to violate his diktats. The Chairmen happily forked out liberal favours to all and sundry including party men and chamchas.

However, must say it was disgusting to watch these pompous Congress bastards zoom around in red light fitted white Ambassadors and see them throw their weight around! These semi literate idiots who could not even understand a single page of their corporation balance sheets did not have the qualifications to be make it to the clerks’ post!

I am sure you will agree that no Chairman in the Queen’s dispensation will ever dare to even place a purchase order for a packet of office pins without the nod from his MD. He will lose his job overnight and maybe even find himself thrown inside Jharpada if the Queen unleashes the Vigilance bloodhounds!

The best thing to do in my opinion, is to post professionals who are experts in the respective fields as Chairmen or Directors of the floundering PSUs and Co operative Banks and pay them a decent honorarium. These appointments should be apolitical.With their guidance, our corporations and banks could be run properly and efficiently !

But then what will happen to the out of work netas who could not make it to the Assembly! Let them wait for the next elections and let them not be rehabilitated in our insolvent corporations! When shall the Queen with this loud claims of transparency and accountability ever understand this?

I guess I have to approach the DFID to make this happen in our state ! After all they decide government policy in Orissa.