The hunt for the Sandha!

The hunt for the Sandha!

Who is Kalinga Sandha?

This single question has been agitating the minds of my readers since June when this blog was first launched. Some people opine that he could be only a media person since who else could write ? It is understandable that readers do carry such an opinion since the media wields enormous influence in Orissa!

But, honestly speaking are members of the media the only literate class of people in the state? But this doubt is strictly for academic purposes! I am not saying that KS is not a hack! He could be one too! I can only confirm that he or she is a human being with net access! Nothing more.

And I am not also saying if KS is a true “he” or a “he” with “she” qualities! In Queensland, the Basanta (Basanti) or rather “he(she)” people form a sizable portion of the local population !

Others guess it could be a disgruntled government employee who is hitting back at his seniors and the Queen as the blog never fails do throw mud at the top brass of the state.

Oh yes, I know about a few guys who are obsessed with finding out who is KS ! In fact, they are using all spooky techniques to dig out KS’s true identity! Somebody is trying to trace the IP address of the postings while someone is trying to match the write up style with that of published articles .

I sincerely pray they do not waste their time by using the dubious talents of the antediluvian Orissa Police’s cyber crime unit to join the hunt! If they do, there is the distinct possibility of the super efficient OP waking up the largest bull sleeping in front of Lord Lingaraj and producing the bewildered animal before the local magistrate!

However, nobody ever claims that it could be a neta for the simple reason that nobody believes that any Oriya politician with his microscopic quantity of grey matter could write a blog!

For me it is the most unnerving experience to see my blog being discussed at parties and gatherings. It turns truly surreal when I helpfully pitch in with my weighty comments. But I hum and haw and look at the ceiling when the talk veers around to the identity issue! I hit back usually with a counter question …… “ Do you know who is this KS bastard?”

But the common refrain is......... “whoever it is, he really hits hard!” I vaguely nod agreement while my heart leaps to hear the praise! I have to fight hard to control the irresistible urge to lay claim and shout to the world that KS is standing right before them! And don’t be surprised if KS soon turns into a schizo ! Don’t know how to tackle this serious identity crisis with the double life I lead !

I had to wholeheartedly abuse KS at many parties with the choicest abuses to ensure that the finger of suspicion does not turn to me! It is a weird feeling and I am not sure if I enjoy or hate it!

Many babus religiously read the blog to ensure that their holy names are not in the hit list. Ah they sure have all the time in the world to do so as everyone knows our babus are enjoying one long vacation at least till the Queen’s regime ends!

Unfortunately, nobody can ever felicitate me and invite me to the classic "Sambhardana" ceremony to be garlanded by giggling album starlets and force me to listen to boring spiels on my dubious achievements! Poor KS is doomed to remain in the shadows for the rest of his life!

Any guesses about KS ? Is he a media person? Is he someone from babudom or is he an academic in a local college? Keep on guessing folks and join the hunt! And yes do tell me if you find him/her !

I must say I am enjoying my blogging ! A thousand thanks to all of you for sparing your valuable time to participate with your lively and spunky comments.

Keep it up readers!

A Fiat Padmini was enough !

A Fiat Padmini was enough !

Behind the closed doors of India’s biggest industrial finance bank , has been worked out what could be also India’s biggest financial scam. Away from the prying eyes of hacks and couched in unintelligible financial gibberish, a mega loan settlement deal has been scripted in which the largest Oriya corporate has been given relief worth a couple of thousands of crores!

Every Oriya who has grown up during the last 4 decades in the state has heard about the indomitable IMFA group. The company which manufactured ferro silicon and ferro chrome flourished in the sixties, seventies and even in the eighties since competition was absent and sale prices quoted were non- negotiable. It was touted as a successful Oriya enterprise which did the state proud. Ofcourse, now the profits have plunged to a meagre 9-10 crores a year !

However, a dirty secret pooped up and spoiled the party! The company had been a regular defaulter of their power dues ! As everyone knows, ferro alloys consume humungous quantities of electricity and the key to profits is to minimize the cost of electricity. The Pandas always ensured that the power minister and the OSEB guys were in their pockets. The buzz was that any Chief Engineer who joined as the Chairman of the OSEB was gifted with a new Fiat Padmini. A bribe worth the grand sum of Rs.40,000 in those days!

However, with electrical reforms on, power utilities could no longer be silenced with lollipops. Officials zealously pursued the oustandings once OSEB became GRIDCO. From that date, the company’s fortunes nose dived !

The second chapter unfolded in the eighties. After the elder son of the patriarch completed his foreign education he returned with grandiose plans. The group bought the shut down Kalinga Tubes unit at Choudwar (owned by Biju Pattnaik a really close family friend) and set up a 100 % EOU charge chrome unit by borrowing huge funds from a consortium of foreign banks.

Unfortunately, this gamble also failed for two reasons. First, the rupee was devalued in a major way in 1991 to tide over balance of payments crisis. Overnight the loans just doubled. Secondly, there was a sudden surplus in the international charge chrome markets as South Africa and Phillipines entered the fray. ICCL was in a real bad soup.

A lifeline was thrown by the Tatas when they agreed to use the plant for purely conversion. However, soon trouble broke out because of the Sukinda Chrome mines. Both companies were locked in a pitched battle over the mines lease and the uneasy marriage failed .

The foreign banks wanted their money back. For some years, the Pandas could stave them off with generous court orders by using their well oiled connections since the son in law was a relative of a top Oriya judicial functionary. However, the firangi banks had a real good case and the stay orders were a temporary reprieve.

It became an international embarrassment for the Indian government since the respective embassies relentless pursued the matter like pack of foxhounds. The government of India had to step in and bail out the group. A consortium lead by IDBI took over the loans and saved the company from sure liquidation.

Blame it on a combination of faulty management policies and just plain bad luck, the company continued to flounder. Insiders blame it on the elder son’s ham headed American management ideas which just did not work in Bharat. The Bada bhaina was also quite a party animal and was reputed to have an eye for PYTs. He maintains a huge farmhouse in Delhi to which the rich and famous were invited for grand parties thrown by the rich industrialist (rather biggest debtor) from Orissa.

As soon as the young scion returned from the States, he breathed a sigh of relief as he quietly handed over the reins and started courting the Queen for a Rajya Sabha seat. Joining politics was de rigueur if he wanted to save the company from sure oblivion!

The loans had shot up to Rs.3,000 crores with Rs.2,300 crore owned to IDBI alone and the group acquired the infamy of being the largest debtor to public sector banks. What a combination, a bankrupt state government and the biggest corporate defaulter!

Since 1996-97, the auditors of ICCL had categorized it as a “sick company within SICA provisions which means that the company had to be restructured with a possible change in management control or had to be liquidated.

In 2002-03, IDBI offered to settle their dues for a measly Rs.500 crores as final payment, though they could have taken to the Securitisation Act which empowers the Bank to acquire the assets of the company. The only condition was that the family jewel i.e., IMFA where the Pandas control 99 % of the shareholding has to be merged. Being an MP in the ultra corrupt NDA regime did help. The largesse of Rs.1,800 crores could have financed two KBK plans for 5 years ! What a mega gift of public funds !

As per the terms of the merger, each shareholder will get 1 share for every 14 shares held in the ICCL. Shareholders cried foul and demanded a swap ratio of at least 4:1.Right now a court case has been filed in the Orissa High Court challenging the swap ratio by disgruntled shareholders.

And the elder brother who can never win a seat in his life prefers to be nominated to the Rajya Sabha , backdoor style and spouts pious speeches about the state’s poverty and development .
Why doesn’t he pay off the total dues of IDBI and others before he mouths such BS! He also keeps the local media happy by throwing a grand party every year where booze literally flows like Mahanadi in full flood!

I guess the Panda boy is another e.g. of the Queen’s double faced policy. Lock up BDOs and Tehsildars when they stretch their hands for a couple of thousands, but send crooks who loot Rs. 1,800 crores to Parliament !

Long live the Queen and his band of crooks!

Not another wedding!

Not another wedding !

The bell rang aloud! A relative had come to invite me to his dear daughter’s marriage. Oh not again! I was sick of attending such parties.

Compared to the simple and delightful ways in which marriages were celebrated a few decades ago, they have now turned into ostentatious occasions, where people vie with each other in a vulgar display of wealth. So many people are invited that it becomes difficult to even stand peacefully without being shoved aside, forget about sitting!

I avoid attending VIP marriages since you are a nonentity in such grand events unless of course you are a cabinet minister, a top babu or the editor of a leading newspaper. You will rarely meet the VIP host prior to or even during the wedding. Certainly, no VIP or his wife will ever visit your humble abode to invite you !

VIPs have a whole army of sidekicks who carry out all chores; from delivery of invitations to greeting guests at the venue. Of course the luminary will come rushing if somebody whispers in his ears that a big shot has arrived! VIPs only deign to greet VIPs! I wonder why they invite ordinary mortals who never get a chance to greet their host.

And I hate the harsh video lights which catch you just as you are going to pop that succulent piece of mutton inside your mouth! You feel like a thief caught stealing. Makes me lose my healthy appetite immediately!

In the not too recent past, we used to enjoy marriage parties. Aunts, sister in laws and grannies used to arrive to advise the anxious mother and the bride about the various elaborate ceremonies, the costume, ornaments, the gifts for the groom’s relatives, etc. It also provided a wonderful opportunity to exchange family gossip and paan!

For 3 - 4 days before the D-day, we used to have mini feasts every day with the noisy kids scampering all around the house. For us, it was an enjoyable holiday as we could escape from boring school lessons!

A marriage ceremony used to be a sort of catwalk, where gawky nubile girls would gingerly wear their first saree which sort of signaled to the world that she was in the “shaadi market”. I remember, how awkward and embarrassed they looked in their inappropriately draped sarees, since the obstinate pallu would keep on slipping despite desperate attempts to keep it in place.

If the proud mama announces that her son had joined the state government as an officer, it would immediately evoke the interest of the gaggle of women with maidens to marry off. At the same time, the poor girl would be wondering if her father could afford the fat dowry which a “sarkari babu” would demand. Ofcourse, nowadays, MBAs and computer guys are preferred, as sarkari babus are passé unless ofcourse they are IAS or IPS !

Sometimes, it is quite a pain to attend 2-3 marriages on a single evening. It is just like going on a Durga Puja mandap tour, hopping from one venue to another! You scarcely get the time to greet people or have a proper bite!

Food is another sore point with me. Wholesome and tasty fare is extinct! I remember the elaborate sit down dinners we used to enjoy a few decades ago. It was a normal 6-7 course tasty Oriya meal with a basic non vegetarian item mostly of fish or mutton.

There are umpteen number of items displayed on the food tables but most of them will be dripping with oil and masala and rarely would one find a tastefully prepared dish high on taste and light on the belly.

I miss the traditional Oriya items like mudhi ghanta, fish mahura, chencheda, mutton curry with potatoes, kheer, fish curry, mango khata, lemon rice, etc due to the onslaught of kitsch food. Nowadays, Punjabi food like Naan, gobi matar, matar paneer, butter chicken find place with ersatz Chinese food like fried rice, chowmein and chilly chicken.

The twin cities have a terrible dearth of professionally competent caterers. They can cause major embarrassment to the host as food is likely to go short, or be of dubious quality and taste. Most hotels in the twin cities serve shoddy and tasteless food, obviously prepared by semi trained cooks. Some like Swosti Plaza serve leftovers of one banquet at the next feast which leads to food poisoning. Never eat there !

Due to limited number of serving tables, crowds swarm around the food tables. Reaching the tables is a task more difficult than climbing Everest! Many a times, I had to return hungry after lying to my solicitous host that I had truly dined well!

The bloody caterers play games to make super profits by ensuring that food intake is reduced. The waiters serve you a single tiny piece of mutton or fish and look the other way if you do not move away! And the bhadralok guests feel embarrassed to ask for more!

I have seen diners milling around food tables with empty plates waiting for second servings. His man assures the guests that fresh servings are on way. What guests do not realize is that this is a carefully orchestrated pantomime! The head waiter would be rushing towards the kitchen shouting at the assistants to bring in food, but nobody would respond. After an endless wait, guests finally leave in disgust!

Want to see how a crowd behaves at a food relief center? Visit the ice cream table in a marriage venue. It is invariably mobbed by a circle of squabbling kids and pushy mamas to get a serving. Why does ice cream fascinate everyone?

Why can’t we have properly organized marriage parties in the twin cities? Let such occasions be truly memorable for the guests who take the pain to accept the invitations!

Laptops can beat poverty !

Laptops can beat poverty!

The Prime Minister was coming! Suddenly, everyone kicked into action ……the somnolent Orissa Police, the dozing babus of the Secretariat and the paan chewing peons loitering around the corridors! The Sardar was not here to holiday! He had come to review the KBK works!

Everyone knows that the grand KBK plan has been a monumental failure with little work to show on the ground. The doomed tribals continued to starve and migrate to Andhra Pradesh and Chattisgarh, while crores of rupees were siphoned off. The only guys who benefited were the owners of the plush jewellery showrooms in Bhubaneswar who raked up record sales of gold and diamonds bought by happy wives of KBK officers.

Families of babus of Bhubaneswar and Cuttack used to dread a posting to the boondocks of KBK! However, since the last 6-7 years, no wife cribs that dear hubby has to rough it out in western Orissa. Everybody now drools over a KBK job! The chance of a lifetime to pillage!

However, rain did play spoilsport when the PM arrived. I can never forget the hilarious sight of the Queen hitching up his flappy trousers with his dainty fingers,as he gingerly made his way over the wet tarmac, careful not to wet them! Ah only if he had worn a chiffon designer saree!Would have made a lovely Page 3 picture!

Careful not to mouth any idiotic statements during the Sardar’s stay, the Queen suddenly became voluble after the IAF plane had taken off! He lamented the neglect of the state, forgetting that his babus have been regularly returning central funds due to their sheer inability to spend. In fact, many Central sponsored schemes had to be whittled down due to our incompetent and supremely lazy babus.

However, can’t blame the bureaucrats totally, since the dumb Vigilance watchdogs breathe down their neck and sniff a scam whenever big money is spent. Woe betide the babu who approves the expenditure! He might be locked up in Jharpada jail after a few years when the Queen needs an image boost!

Lord Jagannath saved the Queen! If only, the PM could have made it to Bolangir and Koraput, he would have been shocked to see the rampant diversion of poverty alleviation funds. The district officials lead jazzy lives splurging the funds on air conditioners, designer bathroom tiles, IBM laptops and tonnes of junk equipment in their crusade to fight poverty !

The poor continue to starve without a livelihood! I feel disgusted to see the stark images of emaciated and distressed residents who Ethiopian refugee like, quietly starve in their pitiable hutments, waiting for the mai baap sarkar. Meanwhile the overfed babus and netas zoom around in their luxurious SUVs on their mission to eradicate poverty!

The Queen should stop puckering up his flabby face and spout his fake concerns for the KBK poor. Why doesn't he stay in one of these leaky huts for a week if he wants to improve their lot? Ofcourse, I do wonder if can he ever get the time for this. Won’t banias like Anil Agarwal and the junior Ambani be disappointed if they do not find him waiting to sign MOUs at Bhubaneswar?

All KBK schemes are mired in the cesspool of corruption and the sundry government welfare schemes have miserably failed to lift the poor from their abysmally shocking poverty. I dare the Queen to prove that the lot of even 100 poor families of KBK has improved after the scheme was run.

I do not think even 50 % has been actually spent on the ground. The worse part is that the amount which was spent was wasted since useless schemes which never delivered were executed which hardly benefited the target group.

Just hear about a few success stories about the KBK plan as touted by the state government. Apparently, they formed the Sankumari VSS to protect the Podagad RF under Umerkote Range on which they spent over Rs.12 lakhs from 1998-99 to 2002-03 to carry out plantations over 170 hectares of degraded forest land.

The most ridiculous claim is that over 20 Quintals of Amla was harvested in 2001-02. How could the VSS claim success, since Amla tree would take at least 8 years to mature and yield fruits?

In the Hatapeta Nala mini watershed project an amount of Rs.37.8 lakhs was spent apparently to benefit 9 villages. But there are no figures of the pre project and post project per capita income of the beneficiaries. How do you evaluate success if you cannot compare these two sets of vital figures?

From 1998-99 to 2004-05, a total of Rs.943 crores was allotted, out of which the state claims to have spent 914 crores. Rs.169 crores is for Planning and Coordination with a major portion for roads. For plantations they spent Rs.112 crores.

As expected roads took up 169 crores! Everybody loves roads and everyone knows that KBK roads exist only in the UCs sent to the Centre. And even if they are built, they get washed away by the first monsoon showers! The best way to loot!

On development of agriculture Rs.61 crores was spent. There was measly 7 % allotment for agriculture. Developing agriculture could have stemmed the mass migration which should have been the focus all these years!

A juicy amount has been spent on plantations ……almost 13 %. The forest guys are the happiest lot since they got lots of moolah. A PCCF who has since retired used to go on his infamous KBK collection tours and return with bagfuls of cash.

There is no measuring yard for success since plantations can always fail due to drought or be lost to termites!

The KBK hoax continues and shall do so for the next 100 years, but nothing shall change for the cursed poor of these districts!